Monday, February 4, 2013

The Dina Lohan Six Day Arm-N-Hammer Cat Food Binge Diet

         Dina Lohan has developed a step by step guide for those who struggle with weight and self-esteem issues. Using simple techniques and remarkable dieting tips, you too, can look and feel like a Lohan. When starting this new and exciting Journey down Lohan Lane, you need to keep in mind that this diet will evoke emotional and spiritual trauma. If you have the motivation and dedication to stick to this diet, just like those parm-bread bites you ate all weekend are sticking to those thighs, you CAN do this!

         What will I need?? Well, the beauty behind this breakthrough in the dieting world is the simplicity and availability of all the ingredients. For six days your diet will consist of a fine white Arm-N-Hammer Baking Soda and a smooth rich Fancy Feast. Studies are starting to show that these ingredients alone are scientifically proven to deliver your body the fierce kitty Lohan experience. "Peoplez" magazine recently reported that Paris Hilton (Pear-Bear) started the Dina Lohan experience just last week and the results were jaw dropping.

 After two trips to the E.R. and six staples in her tummy, Pear-Bear is skinner than ever! Thanks to the Dina Lohan Cat Food Binge Diet, no doubt!!

 "OMG!! THIS SHIT IS SO DELISH. Dina was soooo right."

        What if I get thirsty?? Your body can go like 3 days without water or something...Suck it up lard ass it's only 6 days! After you're 3 days in you're halfway there! Yayyyyyyy! All you need to do is sip the liquid off the top of the Fancy Feast can before every one a day portion. if you place your cans outside, hopefully the week you start the diet the forecast called for rain, bitches cuz this is where it gets tricky. If and ONLY IF it rains, can you drink water. May the odds be ever in your favor, Catnip!

"It never rains in my house!"
"What I would do for some fking bread...or what I haven't done":*

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